Take one

Cheat sheets.

If you only do one thing, take my cheat sheet. Pick the one that sounds most like you. Each is one page of plain, doable things, with nothing to believe first.

Strangers helping one another on a busy street.
For everyone
The one questionThe whole answer key in a minute: Is this what a human being does?Read it
A young man carries an older woman's groceries up the steps.
Everyday life
Cheat sheet for everyday lifeMost of the test is small, public and over in five seconds.Open the sheet
A grandparent and a child look up at the Milky Way from a rooftop.
Elders
Cheat sheet for eldersYou have time and stories, the two things everyone else is short of.Open the sheet
A nurse sits with an elderly stranger at night, holding his hand.
The dying and the grieving
Cheat sheet for sitting with the dying and the grievingYou cannot fix this. You can stay.Open the sheet
Students and a teacher in a classroom, hands raised.
For your teens
Cheat sheet for your teensRemember: this site is written for adult readers because of the subjects it covers (war, grief, mental health), and it has nothing explicit. This sheet is for you to read and hand to your teens, not for them to browse the site. They are not too young for the practice. They may be the best at it, because they haven't learned to look away yet.Open the sheet
A parent kneels to listen to a child.
Parents
Cheat sheet for parentsChildren learn what humans are by watching you. The test starts at the kitchen table.Open the sheet
A woman lays out plans for a table of colleagues.
People in charge
Cheat sheet for people in chargeThe test asks more of you: more people can see you, and fewer will tell you the truth.Open the sheet
A man walks down a long hallway toward the light.
Inside
Cheat sheet for people in prisonYou can't control much in there. You can control what you show. Pick acts that are safe for you, and put your safety first.Open the sheet
A man sits on a porch looking over his town at dusk.
Second chance
Cheat sheet for people who haven't held up their endBroken promises, unpaid debts, missing from someone's life. It isn't too late, and it starts smaller than you think.Open the sheet
A woman and a child climb a path up a hillside.
Building meaning
Cheat sheet for building a life that mattersMeaning is rarely found. It is built, one repeated act at a time, usually with other people.Open the sheet
A woodcut of a night shift in a large office: a cleaner with a cart pauses by a desk where a young worker looks up from papers and offers her a chair and a cup.
At work
Cheat sheet for workYou spend more waking hours with coworkers than with almost anyone else. Most of the test is how you treat the people who can't do anything for you.Open the sheet
A black and white woodcut of a woman sitting on a doorstep at dusk with her phone face down beside her, turning to hand a cup of tea to a tired neighbor, while a crowd of small shadowy figures far behind them presses toward a single lit window.
Online
Cheat sheet for online lifeNobody is watching the comment section, and that is why it counts.Open the sheet
A woodcut of a teacher kneeling beside a small child sitting apart from a circle of other children, offering a hand while the circle begins to turn toward them.
Teachers and coaches
Cheat sheet for teachers and coachesKids learn how people treat each other from how you treat the one who can do the least for you.Open the sheet
A black and white woodcut of a nurse sitting on a chair pulled close to a hospital bed, holding the hand of an older patient in the quiet of a night ward.
Caregivers and health workers
Cheat sheet for caregivers and health workersYou are often the first and last face a person sees on their worst day. Small things land hard there.Open the sheet
A woodcut of a man with folded arms and a raised eyebrow standing at a bus stop, quietly holding an umbrella over a stranger's bags in the rain.
If you think this is nonsense
Cheat sheet for skepticsYou can be right that this is wrong and still pass.Open the sheet
A black and white woodcut of a woman at a small kitchen table by a window, a second cup set across from her, while a neighbor's hand reaches in at the open door with a covered dish.
If you are alone
Cheat sheet for people who are aloneYou are not behind, and you are not the problem. Start with one small thing, and let some of it come to you.Open the sheet
A black and white woodcut of a park bench where an autistic woman explains something she loves, absorbed and smiling, to a child beside her, while a man wearing headphones sits comfortably at the far end.
Autistic people
Cheat sheet for autistic peopleThe kindness this site cares about does not need eye contact, small talk or a mask. It needs you to be you, and to be good to people.Open the sheet
A woodcut of a young creator in a quiet street, carrying a stranger's heavy bag up a flight of steps, while through a window behind them a ring light and phone sit alone on an empty table.
Influencers and creators
Cheat sheet for influencers and creatorsAttention is your currency, and this site is pointing at the acts nobody applauds. Spend a little of it where no one is counting.Open the sheet
A black and white woodcut of an empty council chamber at night, where an official in a plain coat has stepped down from the dais to sit on a wooden bench beside one tired resident, listening, with rows of empty chairs and a high window of lamplight behind them.
Politicians and public officials
Cheat sheet for politicians and public officialsPublic office is power held in trust. Much of the test is how you treat the people who can do the least for you, and who will never know whether you noticed.Open the sheet

Looking for your own tradition? Guides by tradition show where many faiths already hold this idea, in their own texts.

Download as PDF

Print them, pin them up, hand them out.

Everyday lifePDFEldersPDFThe dying and the grievingPDFFor your teensPDFParentsPDFPeople in chargePDFInsidePDFSecond chancePDFBuilding meaningPDFAt workPDFOnlinePDFTeachers and coachesPDFCaregivers and health workersPDFIf you think this is nonsensePDFIf you are alonePDFAutistic peoplePDFInfluencers and creatorsPDFPoliticians and public officialsPDF

Why these

Giving is not for nothing. In controlled studies, people who spent money on others reported more happiness than people who spent it on themselves, and a later cross-cultural study found the same pattern across many countries. That is the lift, measured.
Dunn, Aknin and Norton, Science, 2008 · Aknin and colleagues, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2013 · Post, International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 2005

Not every hardship is a test, and nothing here asks anyone to stay where they are being hurt. If you are struggling, please talk to someone you trust. In the US you can call or text 988. Elsewhere, findahelpline.com lists services by country.